Blog Archives

How System Shock Soiled My Pants

June 19, 2012

Times have changed. Not a little bit either. Gaming graphics have
improved dramatically over the last decade and even more over the
decade before that. However, games have moved and inspired us, or at
least me, since the early 80s. Sierras quest series, Kings Quest,
Space Quest, my personal favorite Quest for Glory, even the extremely
odd Leisure Suit series. These games defined my childhood, I even
played the cryptic Phantasmagoria which if you played this you might
have also played Noctropolis (you perv.).

But no game has effected me as much as System Shock and its sequel.

System Shock

The progression of graphics, montages, and cutscenes have rendered a
lot of this cliché, old and boring to most. Not to me, I remember the
emotion connected to them, the challenge, and the imagination that
connected me to all these stories. Call it retro gaming, call it
nerdcore, I call it my childhood.

System Shock changed how i viewed gaming. I ran through the first
System Shock in 1994, on my POS computer, jumping to shitty graphics
and freaking out about 16bit squarish robot monsters. The sequel,
System Shock 2, came out in 1999, I was a Junior in college and my
roommate and I (Thank you Trey Terrell) waited for the coop patch to
come out to really get into it.


The horror genre has matured since then, but in 1999 there were a
bunch of shitty Resident Evils, the Phantasmagoria experiment, and
System Shock (at least among the games that didn’t blow goats). System
Shock 2 changed me from playing games as a pass time, a joke, or
recreation, to realizing that games can convey emotion, passion and
relationships that all of us can understand… that and fear. Real,
jump out of your pants, scream like a 4 year old, freak out, fear. We
played it together, always in the dark, but in a lot of ways that made
it worse, we were sharing this freak out.

Unlike the entire Sierra line up, System Shock dealt with ethics,
suicide, and how we view tech.

When I dealt with this the first time, it was at 3am, with the blinds
pulled and no lights on. We had enough caffiene to kill a small child,
and we were freaking the fuck out. God, I loved it. That was what
gaming should be, not some 2 dimensional, bullet crazy, piece of crap;
System Shock 2 was a game that would keep you up at night, and screw
up your sleep cycle.

But then again, if you haven’t played Skyrim you haven’t seen WTF.

This is one of my favorite rants

June 14, 2012

There are a lot of rants out there, but anyone of them that uses Stopping George Lucas as their primary reason to agree with them sells me every single time. Stop the madness, stop the hate, stop VVS.

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Portal Short Movie

June 13, 2012

I have been digging through my oldie but goodie folder and came across this again.  Impressive stuff.  

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Minecraft Game of Thrones makes me happy

June 12, 2012

Under the category of  people with more time on their hands than me. Still frickin impressive.  

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Avengers with Ponies

June 9, 2012

Since I have now discovered _____ with ponies, I feel that I need to inflict them on others. Plus I felt this would round out the ponyascomichero (seriously I can’t be the only person that craves that crap) needs of the week (I have needs, don’t you judge me). I can hear you judging.

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Watchmen With Ponies

June 9, 2012


I couldn’t make this up

How Charlie Ruined My Weekend

May 29, 2012
How Charlie Ruined My Weekend

I have been thinking a lot recently about TV to movie adaptations. By a lot I mean exactly as long as it took to research Charlie’s Angels, and by recently I mean the last two weeks. It seems to have always been a problematic issue, which ranges from the painful birth control properties of the Flintstones movie, to the Star Trek franchise which continues to be pretty spectacular (I’m considering an article on why the new Star Trek reboot is better than anything ever in the history of ever). To demonstrate the difficulties that arise in an adaptation I am going…

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For those who dislike their children

May 20, 2012
For those who dislike their children

  This is truly disturbing. If any of you out there have a child that you really hate, I suggest this as a possible outlet. I can’t even begin to comprehend how this is a good idea. But if you have a child you are having trouble creating a crippling social disorder in, well, there you go.

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Avengers 2 Officially Announced

May 8, 2012

This is one of those posts that seems horribly obvious. Disneys Bob Iger  has officially announced that an Avengers 2 will of course be beginning development. The sequel to the current box office leviathan is scheduled to follow the already announced Iron Man 3, Captain America 2, and Thor 2. While I lean heavily on the Infinity Gauntlet coming into play during this upcoming movie, it has, of course, not been officially announced. This leads to another quandary which I am sure no real nerd is capable of overlooking, Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four weigh heavily on the official Infinity Gauntlet…

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The official Phineas F. Fox guide to alcohol

May 8, 2012

Do to the fact that my writing instructions were rather… ambiguous ( (1.) hi lady!), I feel the need to add yet another category to the possible information one may gather through  Le Cochon. Thus I am starting an entirely new type of post in an entirely more obnoxious style. The Phineas F. Fox Guide to Alcohol and Other Obnoxious Things (2.). So, with deep humility and such, I give you the first installment of our road to nerdvana, the prince and super spy of martinis, The Vesper. The Vesper If you are a martini person, as some are, I humbly (again,…

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